God Is Good

Little Miss Eden was born with a growth on her tongue. It's a fairly large 'granuloma' (I try to listen closely to remember the medical terms!) near the back of her tongue, right in the center. I noticed almost right away after she was born, but thankfully she hasn't been bothered by it in the least. It doesn't effect her nursing or her breathing, which we are SO thankful for! So, after a thyroid ultrasound and a video conference with a specialist when she was only a few hours old, we found ourselves having appointments with an Ear Nose & Throat surgeon, which led us to April 3rd, an MRI for my little 8 week old baby. For the MRI Eden, again, let me remind you, my 8 WEEK OLD BABY, was to lie perfectly still for 45 minutes...they were going to bundle her really tight and hope for the best! It seemed like a crazy, far fetched idea, but if Eden wasn't going to cooperate for the MRI they would have to put her under for the test, something I certainly didn't want. SO...I want to share our experience here, as I am just in awe of how God worked out the details of that day...here's my journal from last week Wednesday:

"What an exhausting, mentally draining day. But at the same time, what a day full of God's goodness and really, what took place was an absolute miracle.

Last night around 10:30pm Eden was fast asleep on my chest and I figured she was out for the night. This was GOOD (as she has a habit of staying awake until 1am or later most nights...and Erik & I are definitely feeling the effects of 'not enough sleep') but at the same time it was BAD as the radiologist wanted us to try to keep her up 'later than usual' so that she would be some what sleep deprived for MRI day. Well, minutes after I was contemplating putting her in her crib she woke up. Wide eyed & bushy tailed...and quite upset with her cold which has been stuffing her up and annoying her. It took until 2:30am for her to settle for the night, so in the final end, we followed instructions and in the morning were left with a 'sleep deprived' baby. Too bad Erik & I were also feeling sleep deprived, but you do what you gotta do :)

Eden woke up at 7am and I fed her and spent the time in quiet prayer. I really felt God calling me to expect good things for the day. I knew that on our own power we could never EVER make an 8 week old baby do exactly what needed to be done for the MRI to be successful, and it would really truly need to be God orchestrating the events of the day. I knew so many people were praying for us & Eden and it was really neat to feel completely at peace and just 'know' and EXPECT things to work out for good.

Around 9am I started wondering if/when I should wake Eden and feed her for the last time before the MRI waiting room feeding, but I felt a strong feeling that I should just leave it in God's hands. I asked Erik about it and we decided we didn't know what was best, so we just kind of left it. I showered & got ready and no kidding, around 10am Eden woke up good & hungry, so I fed her then. I didn't need to wake her or decide when I should feed her, she just made the decision for me. Lovely!

Watching a little Veggie Tales with the sissy's this morning.

All dressed in her 'no snaps and no zippers' outfit.

It was a challenge to find something something suitable,

as her drawer is full of clothing with snaps and/or zippers!

Our yittle happy, yet sleep deprived baby!

We left the house around 11am and the whole way to Winnipeg (we have a 1 hr drive to the hospital) she was awake (remember, they wanted her very SLEEPY and very HUNGRY when we arrived at the hospital). I sat in the back seat and talked to her/sang to her/poked her the whole way to Winnipeg as she fought sleep :)

With yawns like this, I thought for sure that it

was a lost cause to try to keep her awake!
The dangling sunglasses were supposed to entertain her ;)

I really wondered how we would keep an 8 week old baby from sleeping on the way to Winnipeg. Usually with newborns, the coziest place to sleep is in their carseat in a vehicle. She must have really been confused with my parenting skills, as the night before Erik & I were begging her and trying everything to get her to fall asleep, and here I was not letting her sleep! Haha. We stopped at Applebees to pick up some food, and that's when she started getting quite cranky because she was sooooo ready to sleep but I wouldn't let her. I really thought we would have a screaming angry baby on our hands for a few hours, but God was allowing her to be awake, yet not completely upset. That was a huge answer to prayer already!

By the time we parked at the hospital, she was very sleepy and getting increasingly more upset. It was lining up to work PERFECTLY to feed her & then let her sleep so that the MRI would be successful. We wandered around the hospital for a little bit, not really knowing where we were going, but suddenly we found ourselves by a picture of an owl above a hallway, so naturally I walked in that direction and no kidding....the MRI door was RIGHT THERE. Isn't that cool?! It could have been a picture of any other animal, but nope, it was an OWL (if you didn't know, I LOVE owls...) and then there we were at the right office :) I told Erik that obviously SOMEONE was praying that we would find the right office in the hospital without any trouble.

We checked in with reception and filled out some paper work, all the while Eden was making a huge fuss and getting louder. I felt so sorry for the other people in the waiting room -- and eventually I DID apologize to them for all the noise, but told them they wanted a tired/hungry baby, so she WAS following instructions very well! I just felt the need to defend our seemingly bad parenting as our baby screamed and we didn't work to try to find a solution ;) When we figured we MUST be able to go in soon (you know, to that peaceful dark room where I could feed her & put her to sleep) we were informed that they were running 45 minutes behind. That definitely wasn't part of 'the plan' but I felt such peace. Poor Eden was soooo sleepy and crying so much. It felt completely awful & unnatural to KNOW what she needed, but not be able to make her content! Erik & I would trade off jiggling her & 'shushing' her, but she would be very quick to close her eyes and doze off. Then we had to reposition her so that she woke up and started crying again, because we COULDN'T let her sleep. It was a lot of crying and carrying on. The poor girls throat was sounding more & more hoarse :( We were FINALLY told we could go in to a separate room and settle her down. That was wonderful news!!

The nurse & I talked and decided that it was perfect timing, that I should start feeding her & then put her to sleep. I KNEW that Eden would sleep, because we had successfully kept her awake for so long as she had been fighting sleep. Things were looking SO good! So, I changed her diaper, fed her & put her to sleep. She was OUT I tell ya! THEN...we heard some rumblings about a baby needing an IV and wouldn't you know...they came in and told us they needed to get an IV started on her for the MRI. I was a little perplexed by this, as NOW was the time they were supposed to take her in for the MRI but my perfectly sleeping baby first needed to get an IV! It seemed REALLY backwards (she should have gotten the IV first, but the nurse hadn't realized that she needed one...) She needed the IV because she needed to be injected with dye for the MRI. SO, my perfectly sleeping baby got rudely awoken to the anesthesiologist poking & prodding and looking for a good vein. Sigh. Back to square one.

After those few minutes of torture, and after 2 tries,

they had the IV started and we were left to put Eden to sleep again

Sleeping like a baby after I fed her for the 2nd time. She COULD have been really upset and not settled, but God answered the prayers of many, and she settled right down for the 2nd time.

The nurse took her from my arms and we were left to wait. That was the hardest part, as in my mind I kept thinking I heard her screaming away, but it wasn't really her, just noises in my head. About 15 minutes later the nurse came back to say that Eden fussed a little on the table, so she picked her up and jiggled her a little and then she went back to sleep and was doing wonderfully. What a relief! She was gone from us for probably 45 minutes, and we were so relieved when the nurse brought her back to us and said the MRI went fabulously and is was a success!! Thank-you GOD!

It got me thinking...no, I would have never CHOSEN a tongue problem for our little baby, but without it, we would have never been able to witness this miracle. And it was a pretty awesome miracle to witness. There were SO SO many things that could have gone wrong about this day, the MRI could have been a complete fail and we would have had to come back a different day and have her put under for the MRI, but everything lined up & worked out perfectly. God is GOOD! Thank-you to everyone who prayed for us today. We certainly felt those prayers!! I LOVE how God was asking me to trust Him, and EXPECT Him to do great things...and HE gave me the strength to do just that!"

Next up, surgery at 2pm on April 13th. Thankfully the MRI showed that the mass isn't 'rooted down her throat' or anything like that. It will be easily removed, without being too invasive, I am very thankful for that. Eden will be admitted to the PICU for a minimum of one night after the surgery, possibly more, depending how things go. Her tongue will obviously be pretty sore, so it's unknown how she'll take to nursing after the surgery. Tonight (the night before surgery) I am feeling mostly at peace about the day ahead of us. As I'm snuggling my sleeping daughter on my chest, I'm reminded of my devotions a few days ago. It opened my eyes to the concept of "while I am caring for my daughter, God is caring for ME". That really hit home, and I have been trying to meditate on that for the last few days. Once again, GOD IS GOOD!